Living with Low Testosterone Week 6

Stopped TRT for 6 weeks now, how dealing with my wife and children has become more difficult.

Angry-LowT

Now Hitting Week 6 without any Testosterone.

Living with low testosterone is certainly no fun, don’t believe anyone who thinks that supplementing their own T is the proverbial ‘dog’s danglies’ it’s not! FACT. If you have a medical condition that has caused your own testosterone to diminish to old grandfather time’s T Levels, then hell yeah, maybe you should be on TRT.

I stopped taking Testogel 6 weeks ago, and in this rather short period of time. I’ve suffered from panic attacks and anxiety that has been unbelievable. Feeling like  my body is just going to stop dead in it’s tracks and break down quicker than an Alfa Romeo that’s just ran out of it’s dealership warranty.

My Children being affected by my Low Testosterone moods.

Blessed with having my own beautiful children occasionally I have to admit like a ‘bad dad’ that at times I really struggle with them, feeling that I lose my patience too easily with them, I try to be the best dad I can but end up wracked with guilt that I shouldn’t have ‘snapped’ or that ‘they are just kids’ don’t take it out on them. So I do try and make a real effort to keep my temper in check. I have occasionally had temper outbursts and immediately regretted using bad language around them. I don’t use bad language normally and I don’t like my kids to hear me use those words.

What I’m saying I guess is that I find my own children really test my patience at times, this is really noticeable while my testosterone levels are low.  Finding that my own behaviour is erratic and not what is ‘normally me’, I guess I could describe my actions as bipolar. Not in the medical sense. But I find myself one minute on the edge of being angry and anxious and the next I’m upset with my having been angry and I try and compensate.

How my Low T affects my marriage and how being married to a Low T guy must be tough.

Next I have to apologise to my wife, of course she won’t ever read this.. Well, not as I know anyway. But I reckon by putting it in print here it goes some way to making amends for my erratic moodswings and it should help balance my universal store of Karma.

I know that when you say “I do” and “till death, do us part”. I wonder how many of us actually stand by these maxims. I would like to think that I do live by these ideals. I’m not religious and you will never catch me setting fire to a publishing house because of a few cartoon sketches. But I’m more a humanist than anything else and I live by the 10 commandments just because they are pretty decent standards to live by.

So when I married my beautiful wife I was sure that on that fantastic day nothing could ever damage our relationship. Even some 14 years later I still love my wife and find her as sexy as the day we met. BUT, I find that with my becoming a bit of a ‘neurotic’ and always feeling anxious and every couple of hours emitting a statement like “love, I don’t feel well” or ” my hands ache”, or ” I feel dizzy” must go some way to dampening her desire for me! As my wife used to be in the caring profession. I find that ‘caring’ is the very last thing I would describe her as.

I understand that she doesn’t want to mother me or forever be allaying my latest ‘Withnail and I” style ‘fear’. But I would like to think that I would afford her more leeway if ever the situation was reversed. I need ‘positivity’ and I feel that she is just bored now of my moaning and groaning and is just putting up with me for the sake of our kids.

Advice for the woman having to deal with a husband or partner with low T

But please girls if you are reading this because you your Husband or partner is suffering from Low T, please don’t pander to their anxiety but also just as importantly. Understand that it’s not pleasant for us having to put up with the constant worry of anxiety. You may have to live with it (us) 20% of your waking life.  We have to deal with it 100% of the time and it really does become draining. Not even sleep comes easily to us because of this testosterone deficiency!

I don’t want to be a burden to my wife or family. Hell, I would rather just disappear one day than have them gradually lose their love for me because of my ‘manliness’ being steadily eroded by this awful nasty condition of Low Testosterone. I was brought up in an age where men were supposed to be men. Foolishly or not we were expected to always be cool, disciplined, fair and decent to our loved ones. Not some ‘needy’,'emotionally retarded’ selfish individual that is always going on about ‘me’, low t and how it’s ruined my life. Shit, it’s not cancer is it? I should be grateful and that makes me feel even worse!

Here’s a poem by William Butler Yeats written about love. I guess I’m just trying to say tread gently as you tread on my dreams.

He wishes for the cloths of heaven

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

I am trying to come back from this awful Low Testosterone thing and I WILL come back from it stronger than ever. When I do.. I will give my all to my family, our relationships and  attend to what’s really important in our short lives.

Sorry for not giving you guys a break down of my symptoms and how I am actually feeling now at the six weeks point.  (guess I just got carried away eh lol) .I am still feeling muscle and joint pain. My fingers and knuckle joints have been getting worse. I’ve also had some pretty bloody severe panic attacks over the last week at nighttime. Normally around the time that I take my dose of Cabergoline.  That stuff sure helpd but it has some horrible bloody side effects.

But that’s six weeks almost done. Hoping to see some improvement in bloods for my Low Testosterone and LH,FSH blood tests that should be coming through soon.

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  • Netsonar

    Thanks for sharing I have had been on testim for about nine months and was on a lesser dose for the last two months. I actually felt better on the lesser dose and saw no real change while on testim. Further, I never had any real Ed other than condomitis when I go au natural with the wife all is well. I can say I had more energy. I came to your site as my doctor told me to stop cold turkey today as my levels have been normal range last three visits. Not,sure what todays results are but I am praying nothing lower than normal. Finally my doctor suggested more exercise as I am 6′ 7″ and 258 so he suggested some of my problems could have been overweight creating estrogen i too am 37 years old and my doctor was adamant about my body producing its own testosterone he just did low dose testim to jump start the process. I will check in if I have any negative symptoms and I am concerned after reading your story as I was not prescribed anything to get off the testim. Fingers crossed… I am also running 2-3 miles a day since starting therapy but have only lost a few pounds and I do not overeat. In fact I was a decorated athlete only seven years ago and in ripped condition I would love to get back to that look and throw out my fat clothes!

    • Anonymous

       Hello!
      Don’t worry about any side effects too much. Your body will naturally try to find its own homeostasis.

      I’m not sure exactly where you are coming from? Were you on Testim because of borderline low T or have you had any other diagnostics made? i.e secondary or primary hypogonadism?
      I can’t understand why exactly your doctor wants you to stop? what other factors have changed that will increase your own natural T?  If you have been taking any exogenous T then your own natural T WILL be shutdown i.e  LH and FSH will be near zero. IT will take a while for your own testes to make their own supply.

      Now I am not a doctor and this is NOT medical advice. BUT, I am pretty much 100% sure that any doctor that prescribes Testim to ‘help kick start your own T production’ really has the wrong end of the stick.   By ADDING external T  your own body decides that it doesn’t NEED to make ANY of it’s own. Hence your testes will shrink and shut down.

      If you go cold turkey, things will be tough for a few weeks, but they will improve.. after a while you should get back to where you were before starting TRT. IF you have improved the reason why you may have had low T.. you may get back to a normal level of T production.

      I wish you the best of luck, hang in there and if you want to go cold turkey.. go for it! I didn’t feel so bad.

      let me know how you get on!

      • Netsonar

        I am doing fine and actually feel better than when I was on testim… Sorry for late response my reason for starting was a thyroid appointment with endo (problematic thyroid) and blood test showed low testosterone count. So I was referred to another endo who specializes in testosterone therapy recent vist (today) counts are fine and I am feeling great I actually wonder if I ever needed testim in the first place since it would sometimes make me dizzy and feel bloated.

        • Anonymous

           Hey Netsonar, Just glad that you are feeling better now! So you are now no longer supplementing any T?  Usually your body would have to restart it’s own T production after being shutdown by the Testim. Glad that it’s working out for you though!

  • Steve69

    If you have a medical condition keeping your body from making enough testosterone nothing you do will change that. You will go blue in the face trying to increase it naturally but it won’t work. Go back on trt therapy to Dave your sanity! From another trt patient.

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