Now Hitting Week 6 without any Testosterone.
Living with low testosterone is certainly no fun, don’t believe anyone who thinks that supplementing their own T is the proverbial ‘dog’s danglies’ it’s not! FACT. If you have a medical condition that has caused your own testosterone to diminish to old grandfather time’s T Levels, then hell yeah, maybe you should be on TRT.
I stopped taking Testogel 6 weeks ago, and in this rather short period of time. I’ve suffered from panic attacks and anxiety that has been unbelievable. Feeling like my body is just going to stop dead in it’s tracks and break down quicker than an Alfa Romeo that’s just ran out of it’s dealership warranty.
My Children being affected by my Low Testosterone moods.
Blessed with having my own beautiful children occasionally I have to admit like a ‘bad dad’ that at times I really struggle with them, feeling that I lose my patience too easily with them, I try to be the best dad I can but end up wracked with guilt that I shouldn’t have ‘snapped’ or that ‘they are just kids’ don’t take it out on them. So I do try and make a real effort to keep my temper in check. I have occasionally had temper outbursts and immediately regretted using bad language around them. I don’t use bad language normally and I don’t like my kids to hear me use those words.
What I’m saying I guess is that I find my own children really test my patience at times, this is really noticeable while my testosterone levels are low. Finding that my own behaviour is erratic and not what is ‘normally me’, I guess I could describe my actions as bipolar. Not in the medical sense. But I find myself one minute on the edge of being angry and anxious and the next I’m upset with my having been angry and I try and compensate.
How my Low T affects my marriage and how being married to a Low T guy must be tough.
Next I have to apologise to my wife, of course she won’t ever read this.. Well, not as I know anyway. But I reckon by putting it in print here it goes some way to making amends for my erratic moodswings and it should help balance my universal store of Karma.
I know that when you say “I do” and “till death, do us part”. I wonder how many of us actually stand by these maxims. I would like to think that I do live by these ideals. I’m not religious and you will never catch me setting fire to a publishing house because of a few cartoon sketches. But I’m more a humanist than anything else and I live by the 10 commandments just because they are pretty decent standards to live by.
So when I married my beautiful wife I was sure that on that fantastic day nothing could ever damage our relationship. Even some 14 years later I still love my wife and find her as sexy as the day we met. BUT, I find that with my becoming a bit of a ‘neurotic’ and always feeling anxious and every couple of hours emitting a statement like “love, I don’t feel well” or ” my hands ache”, or ” I feel dizzy” must go some way to dampening her desire for me! As my wife used to be in the caring profession. I find that ‘caring’ is the very last thing I would describe her as.
I understand that she doesn’t want to mother me or forever be allaying my latest ‘Withnail and I” style ‘fear’. But I would like to think that I would afford her more leeway if ever the situation was reversed. I need ‘positivity’ and I feel that she is just bored now of my moaning and groaning and is just putting up with me for the sake of our kids.
Advice for the woman having to deal with a husband or partner with low T
But please girls if you are reading this because you your Husband or partner is suffering from Low T, please don’t pander to their anxiety but also just as importantly. Understand that it’s not pleasant for us having to put up with the constant worry of anxiety. You may have to live with it (us) 20% of your waking life. We have to deal with it 100% of the time and it really does become draining. Not even sleep comes easily to us because of this testosterone deficiency!
I don’t want to be a burden to my wife or family. Hell, I would rather just disappear one day than have them gradually lose their love for me because of my ‘manliness’ being steadily eroded by this awful nasty condition of Low Testosterone. I was brought up in an age where men were supposed to be men. Foolishly or not we were expected to always be cool, disciplined, fair and decent to our loved ones. Not some ‘needy’,'emotionally retarded’ selfish individual that is always going on about ‘me’, low t and how it’s ruined my life. Shit, it’s not cancer is it? I should be grateful and that makes me feel even worse!
Here’s a poem by William Butler Yeats written about love. I guess I’m just trying to say tread gently as you tread on my dreams.
He wishes for the cloths of heaven
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
I am trying to come back from this awful Low Testosterone thing and I WILL come back from it stronger than ever. When I do.. I will give my all to my family, our relationships and attend to what’s really important in our short lives.
Sorry for not giving you guys a break down of my symptoms and how I am actually feeling now at the six weeks point. (guess I just got carried away eh lol) .I am still feeling muscle and joint pain. My fingers and knuckle joints have been getting worse. I’ve also had some pretty bloody severe panic attacks over the last week at nighttime. Normally around the time that I take my dose of Cabergoline. That stuff sure helpd but it has some horrible bloody side effects.
But that’s six weeks almost done. Hoping to see some improvement in bloods for my Low Testosterone and LH,FSH blood tests that should be coming through soon.Drew